We had just arrived home from the hospital where I had, had surgery the day before, when the little adventure that I am going to share with you took place. Before we left the hospital, we heard the weather reports that were calling for some serious snow that evening. My wife, Carla, had planned to finish Christmas shopping that evening but due to the snow headed our way, decided to go as soon as she dropped me off at our house that afternoon. She had not slept the night before due to a difficult night at the hospital but she said she would be fine. She gave me a kiss and off to the mall she went.

My daughter, Nikki, was waiting on her boyfriend to arrive from Washington DC. They had planned to do some Christmas shopping too but he was still three hours away so she decided to beat the snow and get a head start. Off to the mall she went.

I was sitting comfy, in my recliner a couple hours later, oblivious to what was taking place outside. Pain meds tend to make one oblivious. The phone rang and it was Carla. “Have you looked outside lately,” she said. “Not lately,” I said. A load of snow had dropped while I was in oblivion. She went on to share that she heard people at the mall saying that the roads were getting really, bad. I told her just to leave Nikki’s car at the mall and both of them head home in her car immediately.

They were only a twenty minute drive from home but that twenty minute drive turned into an over night trip to the mall. The Interstate had become treacherous. Carla was calling, giving me updates on their progress, which was little to none. She said it was a mess with car wrecks, cars in the median and stand still bumper to bumper on the highway. Nothing was moving. I told them to just sit tight and stay warm. She informed me that she was almost out of gas. I was, immediately reminded of a conversation we had a couple days earlier about never letting her tank get below half. It was too late to do anything about it now.

By this time, the Interstates were closed, so the people on the highway were in for a long night. My brother, Rob, and my son, Joshua, were going to see if they could find a way to get to them. They were only gone a couple minutes when they came back in the house and said they couldn’t even get out of our subdivision. Our contact with Carla and Nikki was minimal because the Verizon towers were overloaded with calls. I finally got through and said, “What is your status now?” “We still haven’t moved an inch and we are almost out of gas,” she said with fear in her voice. I told her to get into the emergency lane if she could and take the exit that was less than half a mile from where they were.

The pain from my surgery seemed to be slipping past the pain meds. I think it was heightened due to the stress of the situation but the greatest pain was knowing that two people that I love were in trouble and I could do nothing about it.

The next call that we were able to get through was about thirty minutes later and they had made it to a gas station off the nearby exit to get gas. I told them to go to the Holiday Inn Express, get a room and settle in for the night. She called back and said, “There is no room in the Inn.” I had been sitting there praying for them and feeling totally, helpless. My son, Joshua, and my daughter, Kayla, were home with me so I told them to put on their Facebook status that their mom and sister were stranded and there was no room in the Inn. I really didn’t know why I said that but we would soon discover why.

Kayla got an immediate response from a young man that she knew from High School. He said He had a room reserved at the Holiday Inn Express but decided not to use it. He called the Inn and told them to give his reservations to Carla Beverly. Carla and Nikki ended up with a nice warm place to sleep that night and those of us at the house rested much better knowing they were, tucked in safely for the night. Nikki’s boyfriend, Ryan, called and said he had gotten a motel room near Roanoke and was in for the night as well.

We all breathed a quiet thank you to the Lord that night for taking care of Carla, Nikki and Ryan. I thought about how God used a Facebook status and a young man named Tony to give our girls what even Jesus didn’t get: A room in the Inn. “Thank you and good night Lord.”

Are you a procrastinator? Most of us probably find ourselves procrastinating occasionally but some people make it a lifestyle. Those that do can usually come up with some pretty good excuses for procrastinating. The problem with that is the excuses do not take away the consequences. Here is my story.

Late one evening two years ago, I began to have severe pain under the lower right side of my ribcage. It gradually got worse as the evening went on until it was unbearable. I told Carla that we were going to have to go to the emergency room so we did. That night started a chain reaction of doctor visits, tests, and an ultrasound. The conclusion was that my gallbladder was the culprit and surgery was the fix.

“What will happen if I wait?” I asked the surgeon. “You may make it a month, six months or a year but it will happen again, so you can choose to wait or have the surgery now,” he said. I really did not like the idea of them sticking tools through little holes in my belly and sucking something out, so I decided to wait…or should I say procrastinate.

Over the next two years, I had many of what I called tremors of pain and sickness but no earthquakes so I continued to put it off. A few weeks ago, I had another attack and the earthquake of pain measured by my internal seismograph ranked it equal to the 1960 Chilean earthquake, which was the strongest earthquake measured by seismograph at a Richter magnitude of 8.5. It lasted almost all night. Since I had been through it to a lesser degree two years ago, I didn’t go to the ER, I toughed it out. The thought that kept going through my mind was that I would not be going through this if I had not procrastinated.

I sat in the surgeon’s office as he shared with me the details of the surgery that I would be having two days from that moment. He would do the surgery laparoscopically, which meant only three small holes and a quicker recovery. He said there was only a 1 in 200 chance that it would be more complicated and he shared what he would do if that were to occur.

I arrived at the hospital and prepped for surgery. “Take off all your clothes and put this pretty little gown on,” the nurse said with a grin. I sat with my family waiting to be carted out. Two men in green scrubs arrived, so we said our goodbyes and I was off to surgery. In the holding area, a nice nurse told me she was going to give me a little something to help me relax. Within seconds, the room started to spin and that is the last thing I remember until I woke up in recovery.

I was told that the surgery was more complicated than expected. The surgeon said that my gallbladder was terribly diseased and that scar tissue had attached to linings inside that it was not supposed to be attached to. That required a little more, extensive surgery. They had placed a drain tube in my stomach and told me that I would have to spend the night in the hospital. If everything went well, they would remove the drain tube and let me go home the next day. Then the surgeon looked at me and said, “That thing should have come out of there two years ago.” Two years ago, the surgery would not have been as complicated. I thought, “I wish I had not procrastinated.”

They got me settled into my room for the night where I would have a constant barrage of nurses checking stuff, changing stuff and shooting stuff in me. The powerful pain meds kept me from feeling much pain. My wife, Carla, was there and I don’t know what I would have done without her as she gave constant care and support.

They told me that I would not be able to go home until I was able to “Empty” myself of fluids. The IV continued to pour fluids into my body and I was drinking a lot of water. I tried all night long to “Empty” but to no avail. By 4am, I was ready to explode and still nothing. I called for the nurse and explained that I still had not been able to “Empty”. She checked me and said I had 700cc’s of fluid in my bladder. Most people pass 30 to 40cc’s and hour so I was definitely overdue. The only remedy was the dreaded catheter. It worked and I finally got some relief.

Later that morning I was able to “Empty” all by myself which met one requirement for getting to go home. The doctor came in and checked me. He said that he was going to release me and gave me some instruction for later. As he was leaving, He reminded me one last time that I should have done this two years ago. The nurse came in and pulled the tube from my stomach, took the IV out and told me I was ready to go home. And I did just that!

I learned a lesson that day. Procrastination comes with a price and sometimes a painful one. Because I procrastinated, the surgery was more extensive, an extra night in the hospital was required, the pain was more severe, and the recuperating process would be a little more difficult.

Have you been procrastinating in some area of your life? Do you keep telling yourself you will do it when…? Is your marriage suffering because of it? Is there a wedge in a friendship because of it? Is your job in jeopardy because of it? Are your finances upside down because of it? Are your children feeling the affects of it? Is your relationship with Jesus cold and indifferent because of it? Is your health suffering because of it?

If you answered yes to one or more of those questions, it is time to do something about it. Do not procrastinate as you deal with your procrastination. It may be much more costly than you think. Our procrastination not only affects us, it also affects the people around us. Who is being affected negatively because of your procrastination and who will reap positive benefits if you stop?

To my friends and family who read this and are wondering if I will heed my own advice, the answer is yes, and I am going to start next Monday! Just kidding.

Have you moved lately? If so, you know that moving in is only half the battle. Unpacking boxes can take awhile. We have been unpacking boxes for two weeks, a little at a time. I had a round with one box this morning and the box won. It was not a pretty sight. I will tell you about it.

We have not gotten around to hanging pictures on the walls yet but somehow the box with the pictures made it from the garage into the house, prematurely. It had been setting in the same place for days. Since it wasn’t in my pathway, I did not bother with it. It just sat there waiting for its time to be unpacked like the others, until yesterday. My parents bought us a recliner that I picked it up yesterday and put it in the living room. I had to move the box to put the recliner where it needed to go.

The large box had been sitting on the left side of the kitchen entryway posing no real navigational issues. When I moved it, I slid it to the left side of the kitchen entryway, which is between the kitchen and my bedroom. I had been navigating my way all evening with no problems. With the house lights on that big box was easy to see so I did not even think about moving it. I wish I had thought about it!

I got up this morning (Sunday morning) and headed for the kitchen to make my breakfast and coffee. Somehow I walked right past the box with now problem. I didn’t even realize it was there. I got busy pulling together my two eggs, toast and coffee breakfast. It was time to relax in my chair in my bedroom, enjoy a good breakfast and cup of coffee to get my day started.

I came out of the kitchen and rounded the corner like a NASCAR driver holding a tight turn in the curve. At that moment, I found the box. My left foot hit that box and I started falling. When I tried to stabilize myself with my right foot, it caught a guitar case sitting near by and my entire body pitched forward. I had no more feet to use to stabilize myself. I became air born for a couple of seconds, flying down the hallway. I hit the floor with such force it sounded like a bomb went off. The plate of food and coffee went air born too and then they hit the floor. With the forward momentum, they slid all the way to the other end of the hallway, spilling their contents as they went.

It looked like an explosion had taken place. The coffee splattered all over the wall and floor along with the eggs and toast. My knee was in some pain but not bad. What scared me was looking down at my hand and seeing it covered with blood. I did not even feel it cut. Maybe the plate or cup broke and sliced my hand open. I once had a cut that was so deep that I did not feel it so I figured that was what happened. I was not sure how bad it was because I could not see the cut for all the blood. Lying there in the floor, I took a closer look at my hand. It wasn’t blood; it was jelly (All-Fruit). I wasn’t bleeding to death after all.

After hearing the explosion, bedroom doors started opening as everyone jumped from bed to see what dad and husband had done this time. Carla helped me clean up the mess. It looked like a crime scene but did not call in CSI. We had it under control.

I went back to the kitchen and made myself a toasted peanut butter and All-Fruit sandwich and another cup of coffee. I just did not have it in me to make two more eggs. That incident wiped me out for a few minutes.

I did learn something though. Sometimes you have to slow down a little and be aware of the things that are in your path. If you don’t, someone could get hurt!

I am guessing that many of you reading this story have dogs. We have two. Roxie is our part Chow female and Tucker is our part Cocker Spaniel male. Before we moved a week ago, they had a medium size fenced in area to live in, with no trees. At our new house, they have a very large, in comparison, fenced in backyard as their new home. It is like, doggy heaven equipped with tree’s, which made things complete for Tucker. If you have a male dog, you know what I mean.

I was sure they would be completely satisfied living in doggy heaven and would never try to leave. I was wrong! One morning I was looking out of the kitchen window when I saw Roxie walking around the fence line. It was hilarious to watch her, though I was not sure what she was doing. She started at one end of the fence, lying down in front of it, and then she would move a couple feet and repeat, up and down, up and down. I thought, maybe she had some weird ritual that I had never noticed. I was wrong again!

Roxie was looking for an escape route. She decided doggy heaven was not enough for her so she found a place to push her way under the fence to the outside world. I was able to get her back in rather quickly but there were consequences. I put her on a 20 foot, rope until we had time to fix the escape route problem. With that entire yard to roam in, she was stuck to 20 feet of it because she was not satisfied with doggy heaven.

My first thought was that she is a stupid dog. She had a nice yard, people who love her, Tucker as a friend, food anytime she wanted to eat, an endless supply of water, and a nice place to sleep. What more could a dog ask for. She would never have to worry about being run over by a car, shot for being in some one’s stuff or starving and because of her actions; she ended up on the end of a 20-foot rope.

My next thought was that we humans are much like that. It started with Adam and Eve and continues with us today. Adam and Eve had heaven on earth but lost it because they went for the one thing God told them not too. They had a beautiful place to live, a personal relationship with God, no sickness or disease, no bad days or sad days, and no death. They did not have to wash or iron clothes because they did not wear them. They had it made and all they had to do was enjoy it but they chose to do the ONE thing God said not too.

How often do we do the same thing? God has lovingly given us spiritual and moral boundaries for our safety. He asks us t o follow Him, worship Him, obey Him, trust Him and find joy in life, and yet we find ourselves dissatisfied and looking elsewhere for purpose and fulfillment.

God has given us boundaries that will enhance our lives not hurt them. Outside those boundaries is a lot of heartache. That is where we find friendships, marriages, families and our lives destroyed. We set boundaries for our kids, not to cheat them out of something better, but because within those boundaries is the best. Roxie may have felt we cheated her out of fun by providing a fenced boundary but she was actually, given love and safety within the boundary. Adam and Eve felt God was withholding something better from them when He gave them a boundary but that was not the case at all. He was actually giving them the best within the boundary.

I have decided that Roxie’s decision, though unwise, was not a lot different from decisions we humans make everyday. Maybe we can give a little more thought to the loving purpose of the boundaries that our heavenly Father has given to us. Sometimes we miss the treasures and pleasures under our nose because we are too busy looking outside the fence, wondering what we are missing.

Note: The names in this story are not the real names of the people in it, nor do the names represent the real gender of the people. Any of the made up girls names could really be a dude and visa versa.

I walked into the door of one of my many offices, ready to get a cup of coffee and do a little reading and writing. This particular office has thousands of books in it. I usually go to the coffee area, order my coffee, put my stuff in the chair that I generally sit in and go back to get my coffee. Then I go pick out three or four books that I want to glean and go back to my sitting area.

On this particular day as I stepped up to order my coffee, I noticed Debbie behind the counter. It was unusual, because Debbie does not ordinarily work coffee. I asked her how she was doing. She said, “You don’t want to know.” “Having a rough morning?” I asked. She explained that James had not shown up for work at the coffee area and she was now wearing two hats for the day. “I’m sorry, but I will make it easy on you this morning because all I want is a tall bold coffee,” I said. She smiled and I could see the look of relief on her face as she said, “Coming right up!”

I got my coffee, grabbed the books I wanted to glean and took my seat. For the next few minutes, I did more watching and listening than I did reading, as you will see. Mary walked up and relieved Debbie for a few minutes. I could see the frustration on both of their faces but I will give them credit, they tried to hide it with smiles that seemed somewhat heavy. Underneath the heavy smiles, I am sure they were thinking, “How on earth are we going to cover here and get our own work done for the day?”

Mary was now working the coffee counter and she was having a tough time. She paced like a caged animal waiting to be, released. Her furrowed brow revealed the serious thought process going on deep below the surface. She needed to be doing what her job responsibilities required for the day but because James did not show, she couldn’t.

Cindy entered the coffee area so quickly you would have thought she was walking on hot coals. Cindy was another employee that worked in the books. She began to share with Mary a problem she was having in her department. Like a machine gun with a hair trigger, she fired away. “I scanned the stuff on my cart and it said to put it in the children’s section but there is no place to put it and I don’t know what to do,” she said, loudly. Mary spoke calmly and direct, “I can’t come back there right now but when Debbie gets back up here, I’ll be there.”

Debbie came back to the coffee counter after a few minutes and I could tell from the conversation what she and Mary were doing. They were taking turns doing coffee and their regular responsibilities so they would not get too far behind. A voice over the loud speaker requested Mary come to the book counter. With a low but visible sigh, she headed that way.

It was obvious to someone paying attention, and I was, that things were chaotic. I began to wonder if James had any idea what kind of situation he left his co-workers to deal with. “Maybe he is sick and maybe he just woke up late and decided not to work today,” I thought. Whatever the reason, he had left his team in a precarious situation.

It made me begin to question how often in life we overload others by not carrying our own load. More than that, how often do we do it without giving it a second thought? I saw something that morning that James did not see. I saw the result of his not showing up for work. He left his team in chaos trying to figure out how to do his job and theirs, and though they were handling it, it was not easy.

I realize there are times when we get sick or an emergency comes up that prevents us from carrying our load but I also know that there are times when we just opt out with no prior warning to those who will have to take the extra load.

It happens at work, it happens at church and it happens, a home. They all require cooperation and without it, things get chaotic. The load can get heavy for those having to pick it up and important things may go undone. Stress and strained relationships will often be the result.

Leading a church presents various opportunities to witness the scramble and chaos that occurs when one or more individuals wake up and decide not to show up. Marriage counseling often uncovers the stress a husband or wife is feeling because one or the other has opted out of their responsibilities. People often experience strained relationships with co-workers when they feel like they are being, taken advantage of.

Maybe the next time we think about opting out of our responsibilities for a day, we could give a little thought to the people that will be affected by it. If it is not necessary to miss, don’t. If it cannot be avoided showing gratitude toward those covering for us would go a long way. In addition, for those who are faithful we should tell them how grateful we are.

Sometimes it is easy to take for granted the faithful ones while complaining about those who are not. If you have a husband or wife who takes their responsibilities in the home serious, tell them you appreciate them. If there are people in your church who are faithful to their responsibilities, let them know that you appreciate them. If you work with someone that consistently fulfills their responsibilities, thank them. Expressing gratitude is good for the heart of the one expressing and is encouraging to the recipient.

The Beverly’s are in! We finally closed on our new house and moved in on Saturday. To some, it may not be a big deal but to us, it is huge. It is the first house that we have ever lived in that is ours and we are over the top excited.

In August, we were not even thinking about purchasing a house. It had not even crossed our minds. A dear friend of ours for many years, Amy Patterson, who is a Realtor/Broker and the Team Leader at Keller Williams and who I have worked with for years at the church, told us that it was time we buy a house and she would help us. When we came to Tennessee in 1990, we moved into a church parsonage. We were there for ten years and have been renting since then. With Amy’s encouragement and help, we began the process of house hunting which would prove to be an adventure.

We spent two months looking at houses, most of which were drive bys and out of those we picked a few to look at inside. At one house, I fell through the deck. We didn’t pick that one. Another house was so saturated with cigarette smoke that we didn’t make it past the entrance area. We looked at one where the downstairs reeked of animal urine even through the forty thousand scented candles burning and another we didn’t even get inside because two giant dogs about took Amy’s hand off as she started through the door. We didn’t pick any those either.

We did see some nice houses and made offers on a couple of them but could not close the deal. I was getting frustrated with the whole thing and was ready to give up. Amy encouraged me to slow down and enjoy the process. I took her advice and continued.

We saw one house that we absolutely fell in love with. It was clean and ready to move in to. No painting, fixing, or remodeling would be required. We loved it and it felt right. We decided to make an offer on it but after a couple offers and counter offers, we were unable to come to an agreement. That took the wind out of our sails. The whole family was tired and discouraged. Amy told us to take a few days off from looking at and thinking about houses and just pray. That is what we did.

A few day’s had passed when I got a call from Amy saying that the people from the house we loved decided to meet us at our last offer, if we were still interested. We were definitely still interested. We started the process of securing financing and then waited. A target closing date was set so we began boxing up our house. We spent three weeks living out of and around boxes as two target dates for closing past. It felt at times like it was never going to happen. Finally, on November 24, we closed on our new house.

Since it was so close to Thanksgiving, we decided to wait until the Saturday after, to move. At 8:30 am, on Saturday morning, friends and family began to pour in and the work began. It looked like a colony of ants working together in unity. It was a beautiful sight. With deteriorating discs in my back and a partially torn ligament in my knee, I would have never survived the move without all the help. All of those beautiful people stuck with us until everything was moved.

Friends and family are also blessing us with house warming gifts. With those generous gifts,  we are purchasing some things we need. We are thankful and excited to have been able to purchase our first home but the thing I am most thankful for is good friends and family who went out of their way to help us get here.

If you were to walk into our house right now, you would find boxes full of stuff everywhere. It is insanity. We do not ordinarily live this way but circumstances have resulted in it. We recently purchased a house that we were supposed to close on last week so we boxed up for the move. It is now a week later and we still have not closed on the house. If something does not happen today, it will be next week before we do.

Navigating my way through the dark this morning, my big toe found one of the twenty five thousand boxes sitting around the house. It is common to hear questions like, “What box did you put it in?” or “Did you box that up?” The answer is, “Who Knows!”

My regular routine of the morning is to sit in the kitchen chair and put on my shoes. I walked into the kitchen with my shoes and realized my routine was, busted. I could see the kitchen chairs but there was no way of getting to one of them because fortyleven boxes were in the way. I decided to sit on one of the boxes to put my shoes on. That was a bad idea. When I sat down on it, it caved in, sending me to the floor on my back-end. A glass clanking noise came from the box and I thought, “That didn’t sound good.” When I got up out of the floor, I noticed that my wife had written “Fragile” on the box. Not good!

I have not told her yet and I trust you will not either. I am figuring that by the time she sees whatever is broken in the box; it will have been moved to the truck, hauled to the new house, and carried in. This should give me several people to blame.

The lesson to take from this story is that some things in life are fragile and if we are careless, we could break something. Take time to notice the people and relationships in your life right now that might be fragile. Give a little extra attention and care. It is much easier to do that than to fix it once it is broken.

The lesson not to take from the story is blaming someone else for what you broke. Especially the people who are kind enough to help you move. I guess I will “Man Up.”

I have been having some irritating stomach issues lately. Brace yourself for TMI. It is the kind that makes you NOT want to stray far from a restroom. I think they call it IBS or Irritable Bowel Syndrome. As I understand it, every one’s body reacts differently to stress and this is one of them. When I need a remedy, I usually call my mom who knows some healthy natural ways to deal with those kinds of things.

“Go get you some yogurt and eat it regularly for a few days,” mom said. I went straight to the grocery store and found the yogurt section. I looked and immediately picked up the four-pack, thinking that the bigger pack would be the better deal. Then I glanced at the price of the two-pack. The two-pack was a $1.50 and the four-pack was $4.00. I am not great at math but even with my limited math skills, I could immediately tell that buying two, two-packs would be cheaper than buying one four-pack. That messed me up because I always thought buying bulk was the better deal. It makes me wonder how many times I have been taken for a ride by not slowing down and counting the cost.

The four-pack yogurt was double plus a buck. It would not have broken the bank to get the four-pack but over a prolonged period, it could become very costly. How often do we assume we know the price of something and fail to do the math and count the cost? I think we probably do it with many things in life.

Failing to give your child undivided attention once will not break them but failing to do it consistently over the long haul will be very costly. Failing to discipline a child over one incident will not mess them up but failing to discipline a child over a prolonged period carries a huge cost. Failing to be lovingly, sensitive toward your spouse once will not break the marriage but being insensitive over a prolonged period may cost you your marriage. Failing to be frugal with your finances once may not break the bank but failing to be frugal over the long haul will cost you big.

It is easy to live a grab and go life without taking time to count the cost. How often do we get so busy doing life that we fail to slow down, do the math and count the cost of our actions or lack of action? Without taking the time to count the cost, I would have made a purchasing decision with the yogurt based on my assumptions. My assumptions were wrong. If I had purchased the four-pack, not only would I have paid double the price, which might be expected when you double the size, but also I would have paid a dollar more.

If we take time to do the math and count the cost of our decisions in life we may find they are costing us much more than we know. Is there something that you are doing or not doing consistently that is costing you much more than you realize. If I decided to buy one four-pack of yogurt a week, the first week would only cost me $1.00 more than expected. Over an entire year, it would cost me $52.00 more than assumed. Over ten years it would cost me $520.00 more than I thought it would. Do you see the affect of failing to count the cost over a prolonged period?

If we use that same train of thought with our kids, how does it look? Failing to count the cost in our relationship with them for a week will have a negative affect but is recoverable. Unfocused parenting for a year is dangerous but over ten years, it will cost you and your child more than ever imagined. Do the same math with your marriage. I think you will find that you will not need to multiply the costly affect of being insensitive to your spouse’s needs, over ten years because the marriage probably will not make it that long.

In ten years, I would have lost $520.00 by not slowing down and counting the cost of what I was doing in my yogurt purchase. Failure to count the cost of damage to the most important relationships in our lives by not slowing down and giving them the love, time and sensitivity they need, will in the end cost us far more than we ever imagined.

On a positive note, by slowing down, counting the cost and making the right decisions in those same relationships, we can experience a compounding affect that we will be wonderful. The result will be stronger, more loving, happier, healthier relationships with those we love the most.

2-Pack Yogurt $1.50

4-Pack Yogurt $4.00

2, 2-Pack Yogurts $3.00

1, 4-Pack Yogurt $4.00

There are two ways to buy four yogurts. The “Grab and Go” for $4.00 or the “Take it Slow” for $3.00. With one of them, you have to slow down and count the cost and with the other, there is more to be lost. There are also two ways to live. One will cost you more than you want to pay but the other is the best way. Sloooooooow down and count the cost.

When I was just a kid, I drove my parents crazy asking questions and challenging conventional wisdom. I can still remember in my pre-adolescent years stirring up controversy in our home just so I could create a courtroom scene where I played lawyer and judge. One of my first cases revolved around what we call cuss words. I wanted to know who it was that decided which words would become cuss words and why adults were allowed to say them and kids were not.

I argued my case with the skill of Perry Mason or Ben Matlock. “Why is it acceptable to say poop but not #$@# and darn-it but not #@^%-#%,” I retorted. In my closing argument I said, “These are words which are nothing more than letters put together to form a word, so who decides that some are not acceptable and others, that mean the same thing, are not? It is my opinion that not only is it acceptable to say poop but it should also be acceptable to say @*$% and the same with darn-it.” After that, I rested my case. Since my mom and dad were the only members of the jury besides my sister who was a year younger than me, I lost my case. Of course my sister Teresa, would side with mom and dad for the purpose of gaining brownie points. I think it was doomed from the start. My brother, Rob wasn’t born yet or I may have had a little help.

Do you have a child that asks a lot of why or why not questions? If so, it is not a bad thing. Asking questions is a great way to learn about life. Children are notorious for asking why or why not questions but if we take the time to answer them or point them to the place to find the answers, we will help them increase their knowledge of life, exponentially. It can be time consuming and because of that, too many parents just ignore them. Rather than stifle questions we should be encouraging them.

As a parent, I would rather be the one helping my child or children with the answers to life’s questions rather than ignoring them and letting some insane college professor spout his or her ignorance disguised as intellect. I do not believe all college professors are insane but some are and they will have at least one before they graduate. God built our kids to ask questions and He gave them parents to help with the answers. I have not always known the answers but I have tried to point them in the right direction to find them.

I am now 47 years old but I still find myself asking the why question about many things. At my age, I find that I am asking more self-penetrating and self-evaluating questions than anything else. Since I have always been a questioner, I have been able to settle many of life’s external questions at this point in my life. I now find myself probing and questioning my own motivations, attitudes and actions at a deeper level. It is leading me to a more honest and intimate relationship with Jesus as well as relationships with other people in my life.

Sometimes it is much easier to blame someone else rather than be honest with ourselves. It is easier to blame our spouse for our marital difficulties rather than to look deep within ourselves and ask the hard questions such as, “What am I doing or not doing to contribute to our problems?” It can be easier to blame our boss when things are not good at work rather than to look within and ask, “Am I giving a hard days work for my wages?” It is much easier to blame our kids for constant misbehavior rather than ask, “Am I taking the time to give my child or children the constant love, consistent discipline, and undivided attention they need?”

Placing blame cripples our ability to pursue honest answers. When we blame, we stop the process of introspection. Only after we have taken a hard honest look within and questioned our own motives, attitudes and actions, will we be able to come to a proper conclusion. Asking questions is the way to find answers. If you want to learn something today that you don’t already know, ask a question. If you want to learn something that will help you grow, ask introspective questions.

I arrived at the church campus awaiting the arrival of our youth group from a conference they attended in Asheville, North Carolina. When I walked into the lobby of our facility, Robbie came rushing in the door and was white as a sheet. Robbie is our Youth Pastor. It is impossible to miss Robbie since he towers at 6’6” in height. Robbie is a big man and a gentle giant of a man. As soon as I saw him, I knew something was wrong because he looked 5 feet tall.

“I forgot one, man,” Robbie said with his voice quivering. “Forgot what,” I said. “I forgot a kid.” Now with my voice quivering I said, “You forgot a kid, where?  ”In Asheville.” he said with sweat pouring. I really did not have to ask but I did anyway, “Who is it?” He told me and I was right in my assumption. Robbie told me that he had called the conference center in Asheville and the camp officials found him still sleeping. “I’m leaving now to go get him,” Robbie said with a weak voice. He looked like all of the blood had emptied from his head.

I walked outside and talked to the students mother who had arrived to pick up her son. We had a good talk and she was very understanding. I thanked her for being so nice about the matter and walked back inside.

Here is what happened. During the last service before departure, the student told Robbie that he was riding back home in the vehicle of one of our other chaperones. The problem was he forgot to tell the other chaperone that he was riding with him. When the vehicles loaded up and headed home, each of the chaperones thought he was with the other. All the while, the student was sleeping like a baby in the dorm room that he was not supposed to be in at that point.

After Robbie and I talked, he jumped into his SUV and headed for Asheville. I called him on his cell phone to try to encourage him a bit. I could tell when he left that he was devastated. “Hey dude,” I said, “It’s all good!” Robbie said, “I can’t believe I did that.” “Hey Robbie, just think about it, this is a good learning opportunity and because of what you are feeling right now, I guarantee you will never do it again,” I said trying to comfort him. I told Robbie that he was not the first to experience drama with this particular student. The year before, our group had been to Florida for a conference. While in Florida, they took our students to Disney. This same student shut down an entire ride when he jumped off the ride in the middle of it.

Robbie returned with the student, safe and sound. He said it actually ended up being a good time for some quality conversation. Robbie is still our Youth Pastor and is doing a great job. The group has grown by leaps and bounds, both numerically and spiritually. He has not left another student in North Carolina or any other State since then … to my knowledge. You might want to keep an eye out for his book, “I Left a Kid at Youth Camp,” coming soon … or not?

Making mistakes is a part of life. It is not making them that matters but how we choose to respond to them. At Harvest, we do not expect people to never fail or make mistakes. I have discovered that if you dare to do something with your life that matters, it will include mishaps and mess-ups. If you allow them to become learning opportunities, they can be a catalyst toward success. When you mess up, do not quit and do not get down on yourself. Learn from them and press forward. Experiences, both good and bad, can be some of our best teachers if we do the right thing with them.

Maybe you feel like you have blown it in some area of your life. It is not over yet. You can choose to quit and become a victim for life or you can choose to learn and move forward, becoming a victor. It is up to you and nobody can make that decision for you. I hope you choose to become a victor. Get out of the dirt, dust your pants off and get back at it! Robbie did!

Shared with permission and encouragement from Robbie.