How much of you is really you? I am not talking about the tucks and sucks, lifts and additions. I remember, as a kid, hearing people say they needed to “find themselves.” That was always a confusing statement to me as a boy. How can you find yourself when, wherever you go there you are? As I became older, I understood more of what they meant.

God uniquely created each one of us. There is not another like us, unless we find ourselves trying to be like someone else and at that point there is two of them and none of me/you. Who are you? Really, who are you?  All through life we are around people who have strong opinions about the traits they think are most important in a person and the types of personalities they like most. We get it from parents, teachers, professors and preachers and then we try to stuff ourselves into the mold of what they think we should be.

I remember early in my ministry, I would hear people talk about the things they liked about their pastor and since I wanted to be a good pastor and one that people liked, I would find myself trying to adopt all of those traits. It almost drove me insane. I might hear someone say that their pastor was a godly man because he was a no nonsense kind of man and serious about the things of God. To me that translated into, “cut out the funny stuff.” Another might appreciate their pastors great sense of humor and that translated into, “put back the funny stuff.” Some appreciated that their pastor was always on the go visiting the people in the church, hospitals, nursing homes and on location for every surgery (as if his presence assured a successful surgery). Others appreciated that their pastor was not running around all over the place but was serious about spending his day in prayer and the study of the Bible.

I was like a refrigerator sucking up every magnet of opinion I heard. It is hard to see what the refrigerator looks like when it is covered with layers of magnets. I remember when leadership books hit the scene in the church world. I wanted to be a good leader and that meant being what those books defined as a good leader, or buying every copy that hit the shelf before someone in the church got their hands on a copy and discovered, by the books definition, I was not a good leader. I could not afford to by all the books so … here we go again!

Eventually the load of trying to be what God did not create me to be, I was crushed under the load. I began to doubt myself and my usefulness in the kingdom of God. My world crashed and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I learned that God does not have a cookie cutter for men, pastors, or leaders in His kingdom. He is the all-wise Creator and He made me the way He wanted me to be. I have taken the magnets off and what you see is what you get. Not only am I comfortable in my own skin, I love who God made me to be. I like the “me” that He created me to be. I hope you like me but my self-esteem and value as a person is not dependant on it.

Is your load getting heavy because you aren’t comfortable in your own skin? Are you a poser, a clone of another or a model of what you have perceived others want you to be? If so, set yourself free! Be who God made you to be and begin to enjoy life to the fullest. God loves the “you” that you were meant to be, flaws and all.  Others will  love that you are being you. Just do it and you will see that you will enjoy life to the maximum.

Enjoy the Journey!

Wild at Heart,

Bud

A few nights ago I broke one of my rules and it stretched me. It felt uncomfortable and wrong at first. My mind was telling me that it was wrong and my emotions dispensing anxiety like a slot machine hitting triple lucky sevens. It could not be right for me to do it since it felt so wrong. I suppressed the voice in my head that was screaming, “NO, DON’T DO IT BUD!” I pushed back the anxiety that I was feeling for what I was about to do. The battle in my mind was furious. Over the years I have heard a few preachers say that if it feels wrong and your mind is saying don’t, you better not do it. This felt wrong and my mind was saying don’t but I did it anyway.

You may be wondering what I did. Let me tell you. We went to a movie (that’s not it) a few nights ago and I have had a hard and fast rule for years that no popcorn can be eaten out of the bag or bucket until the movie starts. Carla has tried to tell me in the past that the legal point for popcorn eating is when the previews start. She can be tricky but I wasn’t born yesterday and a rule is a rule.

On this night something happened that caught my attention. I saw Carla get some popcorn out of Joshua’s bag during the previews. At that moment, the temptation to let her have some out of our bag hit me with full force. I was about to break a rule that I have held for years and it didn’t feel right but it was very right. I leaned over and whispered to her that she could have some of our popcorn before the movie starts. She looked twice to make sure she wasn’t sitting by the wrong man. Nope, it was her man, the rule breaker!

I have discovered over the years that we Christians are notorious for making up rules (more religious than the popcorn rule) that have no basis in the scriptures but we tend to hold to them as if our spot in heaven depended on it. We also tend to hold others to our rules. It is almost as if we need to keep a lot of rules to feel like God loves us. That is not unlike the Pharisee’s of Jesus earthly ministry. Not only did they have the Law to adhere to but they added their own rules to the Law to make them feel more holy. When Jesus broke some of their rules they were very upset and it solidified for them that he couldn’t be the Messiah. Surely the Messiah wouldn’t break their religious rules would he? He would and he did!

I think one rule that we could all stand to keep without breaking it is the rule of not judging others based on our self-imposed and sometimes self-righteous rules. Also, know that some of the religious rules we establish in our minds, that have no biblical foundation, can make us feel like we are doing something wrong if we break them. The very right thing to do is break them and our dependence on them for a right standing with God. Religious rule keeping doesn’t make us more holy, more acceptable to God, or more loved by God. As a matter of fact, it can take us further away from the true Holiness of God. The more we depend on rule keeping (like the Pharisee’s) to find acceptance with God, the less we trust in the grace of God through Christ.

If you want to be free to know and walk with Jesus, embrace the words of the apostle Paul, “…not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.”